Self pity is a dangerous thing.
I can often relate to how the fictional Cinderella must have felt staying home when everyone else prepared themselves for, got excited about, and left for the ball without her.
Because of multiple chemical illness, I am extremely limited on where I can go (and whom and what I can allow into my home). Even exposure to small amounts of perfume, hairspray, cologne and aftershave, laundry detergent and fabric softeners, antiperspirants and deodorants, hand lotion, lip balm, chemicals in stores, incandescent lights, mold spores, cleaning chemicals, air fresheners, hot asphalt, formaldehyde (in funeral homes), pesticides, herbicides, lawn chemicals, pool chemicals, bleach, paint fumes, new building materials, inks, scented candles, and even natural essential oils etc. can cause a person with MCSI (Multiple Chemical Sensitivity Illness or Syndrome MCSS) MAJOR problems. One exposure can set us back days or even weeks. Most people do not understand what it is like and how big a deal it can be to have a reaction - difficulty breathing (even having the esophagus swell shut in some instances), dizziness, disorientation, seizures, rashes, muscle pain, headaches, exhaustion, stomach pain, anxiety attacks, heart palpitations, brain fog, visual disturbances and more are some of the consequences that can manifest because of exposure. (Not all of these are necessarily experienced every time or by every individual).
Some say chemical sensitive people are like canaries. These small yellow birds were used in coal mines to indicate when there were high levels of toxic gases in the mine. The canary would be effected first (like the MCSS patient) before humans and would stop singing as he died. This would alert the miners of danger so they could get out of the mine before it was too late.
The unnatural chemicals around us actually effect all of us. If your liver is healthy, your body may be able to filter and handle the invader - perhaps without you even noticing it. In MCSI individuals, the liver, kidneys and lungs may be compromised and not able to filter out the toxins very well. The chemicals, molds, etc. enter and cannot be as easily eliminated as they are in a healthy person. Since the poisons cannot leave as rapidly as they should, they circulate through the blood and can even be stored in the body's fat, tissues and ultimately, the organs. This has a negative effect and manifests in very unpleasant and potentially dangerous ways.
So what can a MCSI individual do? Isn't there a pill he can take? He/she can work on cleansing the eliminative channels, avoid exposure to toxins as much as possible, build up the body's immune system, be very careful about diet, use air purifiers, charcoal masks, natural fabrics, etc. There is no pill to take as a cure. In fact, the chemicals in drugs usually cause even bigger problems. (The above two paragraphs are only a simplified description and my own thoughts as a result of study - not to be taken as medical advice). Perhaps it will help some of you relate to those you know who suffer with this malady. Many people are frustrated and think "It's all in your head", "You have to be overreacting because it doesn't bother me", "It can't be that big of a deal that I forgot and wore perfume", "Why can't you just toughen up?", "I'm not about to change my lifestyle just because you don't like the smell",etc . The MCSI person often loses friends and can be rejected by others because of being misunderstood and because of the necessary isolation.
My family has been celebrating Christmas with relatives out of town the past two days. I am home... alone...again. Sometimes these days aren't so bad...peace, quiet, rest and time alone with the LORD. Other times I feel sad, whiney, self pitious. How many parties, reunions, baby showers, weddings, conferences, holidays, and picnics (charcoal, sunscreen and bug spray are unbelievably bad) have I missed out on? Too many, far too many. I grieve for my husband, my children and for myself. It gets depressing at times.
So what to do to keep the right heart attitude?
First - I must turn to the WORD of GOD. That is truly where strength, peace, joy is found. I thank God that I have been mercifully driven to my Saviour so many times over the years. It is sweet to fellowship with him. I am actually not home alone. He promised to NEVER leave me nor forsake me. (Hebrews 13:5) I can rejoice in that. When I really feel low, I can read the Psalms and cry with David and the other writers, and be reassured that God really does understand my struggles.
Second - I can praise God for who He is and what He has done for me. I have a hymnal that is full of rich songs of praise and thanks that I can offer. Scripture talks about the "sacrifice of praise" ( Hebrews 13:15 By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name.), and I am grateful I have learned something of what that means. There is always more to learn. I do not always feel like doing these things. Sometimes I don't have the strength. I know God has the answers, and that no where else but God will there truly be any lasting joy or peace.
Third - I can thank God for what I do have. It is easy to focus on what I cannot do, my limitations, problems, sorrows, pain. Some days I have to force myself to write down and say out loud to God, a list of things to thank him for.
Fourth - I can pray. I am so privileged because of what Jesus did for me, to be able to approach the throne of glory - God Almighty, in prayer. He understands completely. Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. He knows how I feel, where I am misunderstood, how the pain is effecting me, how difficult it is to accomplish certain things...
See, I feel better already:)
I hope you all are having a wonderful holiday season. Thanks for listening.
"Cinder"Ellen
Oh, do you want to know the end of the story? I am certainly not perfect or sinless, but I have been saved by God's grace, and he has made me acceptable in his son. Jesus is called THE PRINCE OF PEACE (Isaiah 9:6), and HE has given me a new life to live, both now and in eternity. I thank God that the life he offers is even better than any "happily ever after" imaginable!
Monday, December 26, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
Familiar Carol, New Lyrics
Oh Jesus Christ! Oh Jesus Christ!
He is the only Saviour.
Oh Jesus Christ! Oh Jesus Christ!
He is the only Saviour.
He is still God yet became a man,
Born to fulfill salvation’s plan,
Oh Jesus Christ! Oh Jesus Christ!
He is the only Saviour.
Oh come to Christ! Oh come to Christ!
For He alone can save you,
Oh come to Christ! Oh come to Christ!
For He alone can save you,
Upon a cruel cross He died
That you may now be justified,
Oh come to Christ! Oh come to Christ!
For He alone can save you,
Oh trust in Christ! Oh trust in Christ!
He is the way to heaven.
Oh trust in Christ! Oh trust in Christ!
He is the way to heaven.
His blood can cleanse your from your sin,
And give you righteousness within.
Oh trust in Christ! Oh trust in Christ!
He is the way to heaven.
Oh worship Christ! Oh worship Christ!
He’s powerful and holy.
Oh worship Christ! Oh worship Christ!
He’s powerful and holy.
Fall on your knees; oh hide your face,
Cry out to Him who saves by grace.
Oh worship Christ! Oh worship Christ!
He’s powerful and holy.
Oh follow Christ! Oh follow Christ!
The way to joy is Jesus!
Oh follow Christ! Oh follow Christ!
The way to joy is Jesus!
Not only does Christ save from hell,
But strengthens us through life as well.
Oh follow Christ! Oh follow Christ!
The way to joy is Jesus!
Words written by Rachel
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Celebrating Will Be Difficult For Many
Those of us who have been adopted into the family of God have a great deal to live for each day.
I hesitate to post this so close to Christmas, because we all want to be happy celebrating with family etc., but I can't help but think about those whose hurts are magnified during the Christmas/New Year season. The pain of grief and loneliness this time of year weighs heavily on many.
*I think of my cousin whose 23 year old son was killed by a drunk driver the day after Thanksgiving last year.
*I think of the many people who have suffered miscarriage the past year who thought they would have a baby to hold this Christmas.
*I think of our neighbor who found his mother dead in her home last week.
*I think of the alcoholic/drug addict who has no hope or desire for anything but his addiction
...and the young family he left behind. (And the dear grandmother who wrote to tell me of this hurt).
*I think of the young girl who aborted her own baby and needs the love and forgiveness only God can bring. I also think of the now older woman who aborted her baby years ago, and is still living with the agony of her decision.
The list could go on. I do not mean at all to put a damper on your festivities, but would ask that we all be sensitive to the fact that celebrating for some will be difficult - their difficult situations do not go away just because there is a holiday. True, we cannot solve the world's problems, but that does not mean that we cannot have an influence by showing God's love to someone in our life. Perhaps praying for and/or doing some kindness toward a hurting person could move to the top of our "to do" list this week or next?
Christmas time should not be all about presents, eating whatever we want, pretty trees, dressing up, parties, programs, decorating... True joy is found in a relationship with the risen Saviour who was born a baby in a manger and who grew, sinless, to do the will of his Heavenly Father - even obedience unto death on a cross. That is surely reason to celebrate all year and good news that needs to be shared!
Ellen
I hesitate to post this so close to Christmas, because we all want to be happy celebrating with family etc., but I can't help but think about those whose hurts are magnified during the Christmas/New Year season. The pain of grief and loneliness this time of year weighs heavily on many.
*I think of my cousin whose 23 year old son was killed by a drunk driver the day after Thanksgiving last year.
*I think of the many people who have suffered miscarriage the past year who thought they would have a baby to hold this Christmas.
*I think of our neighbor who found his mother dead in her home last week.
*I think of the alcoholic/drug addict who has no hope or desire for anything but his addiction
...and the young family he left behind. (And the dear grandmother who wrote to tell me of this hurt).
*I think of the young girl who aborted her own baby and needs the love and forgiveness only God can bring. I also think of the now older woman who aborted her baby years ago, and is still living with the agony of her decision.
The list could go on. I do not mean at all to put a damper on your festivities, but would ask that we all be sensitive to the fact that celebrating for some will be difficult - their difficult situations do not go away just because there is a holiday. True, we cannot solve the world's problems, but that does not mean that we cannot have an influence by showing God's love to someone in our life. Perhaps praying for and/or doing some kindness toward a hurting person could move to the top of our "to do" list this week or next?
Christmas time should not be all about presents, eating whatever we want, pretty trees, dressing up, parties, programs, decorating... True joy is found in a relationship with the risen Saviour who was born a baby in a manger and who grew, sinless, to do the will of his Heavenly Father - even obedience unto death on a cross. That is surely reason to celebrate all year and good news that needs to be shared!
Ellen
Thursday, December 15, 2011
He Arose!
This may seem a strange title for a "Christmas" season post, but think about it. If Christ Jesus had not risen from the grave, we would not have a way to be united with God.
This morning Victoria requested that we sing Christ Arose. I love this song because it is a reminder of what our Saviour did for us on the cross and beyond. It reminds Satan and his forces of evil what a huge mistake and blunder they made thinking they had killed the Lord of Glory.
1 Corinthians 2:7 But we speak the wisdom of God in a mystery, even the hidden wisdom, which God ordained before the world unto our glory:
1 Corinthians 2:8 Which none of the princes of this world knew: for had they known it, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory.
He Arose!
Low in the grave He lay - Jesus, my Saviour!
Waiting the coming day - Jesus, my Lord!
Up from the grave He arose,
With a mighty triumph o'er His foes:
He arose a Victor from the dark domain,
And He lives forever with His saints to reign:
He a rose! He a-rose! Hallelujah! Christ a-rose!
Vainly they watch His bed - Jesus, my Savior!
Vainly they seal the dead - Jesus, my Lord!
Up from the grave He arose,
With a mighty triumph o'er His foes:
He arose a Victor from the dark domain,
And He lives forever with His saints to reign:
He a rose! He a-rose! Hallelujah! Christ a-rose!
Death can-not keep his prey - Jesus, my Saviour!
He tore the bars a-way - Jesus, my Lord!
Up from the grave He arose,
With a mighty triumph o'er His foes:
He arose a Victor from the dark domain,
And He lives forever with His saints to reign:
He a rose! He a-rose! Hallelujah! Christ a-rose!
Thinking on these thoughts this morning has kept me from discouragement about how I am feeling and what problems my body is having. It is not a diversion. My Saviour is my all. I need to remind myself of the glorious truth of what He did and what I have been given! I need to feed on His Word every day many times.
Nahum 1:7 The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him.
Ellen
This morning Victoria requested that we sing Christ Arose. I love this song because it is a reminder of what our Saviour did for us on the cross and beyond. It reminds Satan and his forces of evil what a huge mistake and blunder they made thinking they had killed the Lord of Glory.
1 Corinthians 2:7 But we speak the wisdom of God in a mystery, even the hidden wisdom, which God ordained before the world unto our glory:
1 Corinthians 2:8 Which none of the princes of this world knew: for had they known it, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory.
He Arose!
Low in the grave He lay - Jesus, my Saviour!
Waiting the coming day - Jesus, my Lord!
Up from the grave He arose,
With a mighty triumph o'er His foes:
He arose a Victor from the dark domain,
And He lives forever with His saints to reign:
He a rose! He a-rose! Hallelujah! Christ a-rose!
Vainly they watch His bed - Jesus, my Savior!
Vainly they seal the dead - Jesus, my Lord!
Up from the grave He arose,
With a mighty triumph o'er His foes:
He arose a Victor from the dark domain,
And He lives forever with His saints to reign:
He a rose! He a-rose! Hallelujah! Christ a-rose!
Death can-not keep his prey - Jesus, my Saviour!
He tore the bars a-way - Jesus, my Lord!
Up from the grave He arose,
With a mighty triumph o'er His foes:
He arose a Victor from the dark domain,
And He lives forever with His saints to reign:
He a rose! He a-rose! Hallelujah! Christ a-rose!
Thinking on these thoughts this morning has kept me from discouragement about how I am feeling and what problems my body is having. It is not a diversion. My Saviour is my all. I need to remind myself of the glorious truth of what He did and what I have been given! I need to feed on His Word every day many times.
Nahum 1:7 The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him.
Ellen
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Winter Beauty
The winter white surrounding us here in west central Wisconsin has been incredible the past few days! This type of snow cover usually only lasts, with the right conditions, for a few hours in the morning. We have enjoyed this beauty now for several days.
The past two weeks have been
emotionally,
spiritually,
and physically
difficult.-Thyroid pressure which sometimes closes off my throat making it difficult to breathe and swallow.
-Extreme temperature regulation problems. I am so cold to the bone that it doesn't even seem to help to put on six wool blankets with a heating pad while drinking hot tea etc. Then I have the opposite with the hot sweating bouts. At times there seems no in between.
-Severe, painful bloating...digestive issues...
-Pain all over my body. My muscles seem to cramp up with no relaxing. “Tailbone” area pain is excruciating. It hurts to move but the longer I sit still, the harder it is to move.
-Headaches, jaw pain, incessant tinnitus.
-Lymphatic stagnation. (painful)
-Exhaustion. I am sleeping 12-14 hours a day.
I am working with a Dr. on these issues but progress is slow.
I guess that is enough (more than enough?) explanation. I won't try to explain the emotional/spiritual stuff. I have to work hard to fight discouragement at times. I am so grateful I have a relationship with the ALMIGHTY and his living WORD to hold fast to! God's WORD is where I find peace, answers, encouragement, hope, purpose... I am weak. He is strong.
Ellen
Ellen
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