Beyond asking "why?"
Daily it's "how?"
Pain has me in tears,
My heart full of fears.
I want to live life
And not just survive.
My spirit is struggling.
God holds me up.
Sometimes I can't hear him.
I know he cares.
I know he keeps his promises.
I know he can be trusted.
I know his ways are not my ways.
He is merciful, kind, longsuffering...
Make me more like you, dear Savior.
Someone asked recently if my absence from the blog world means I am not doing well - true. I wrote the above several weeks ago. It has been a very rough four months on many fronts. I have had tons of severe abdominal etc. pain. Thought I may have a strangulated intestine, gall stones etc. To make a long story short, I ended up with more CT scans and bloodwork. The intestine is not strangulated. I probably have adhesions from the surgery causing some of the pain and I do have a large hernia causing trouble. Several other things were checked. I won't go into all the details. I was on a broth only diet for over two months and am adding back in some foods trying to avoid the ones causing the pain to increase. Pain will motivate you to take drastic measures at times. Not sure what the next steps are or what the timing will be. It has not been fun - HA. Lots of other "stuff" going on too.
Josiah is finally back on his feet - no more wheel chair or crutches - yeah. He has some pain and his gait is still off. We see the surgeon again in July for further x-rays and consultation. He is supposed to stay on only even, level ground when walking. Hard to do when you live in the country on a hill. He cannot do any sports or active things, which is driving him (and us) crazy. He must not fall. There needs to be adequate oxygen to the socket area and not death of certain cell structure. It will take about two more years for the growth plates to close. He has to be extremely careful until then.
Gregg tore his hamstring and has been dealing with all that entails. There has been continued financial stress. He works and works and works and works...
Sorry this is mostly a negative update. It is the third one I've tried to write. Glad it is finally summer. We had 12 inches of snow in May in one day. It is good to see green again.
Ellen
