Giving Thanks to Whom?

We almost all celebrate Thanksgiving.  Whom are you thankful to on that day?  There must be a recipient of our thanks.   Some people thank the air?, the Indians, the earth, the NFL... but thanks and praise belong to GOD.

Psalm 106:1 Praise ye the LORD. O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.

James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.  

 

Psalm 105:1 O give thanks unto the LORD; call upon his name: make known his deeds among the people.
 

A good practice is to write a list (15-25 things daily) of things that you thank God for.  Try this each day between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Prayer Requests:
Most of the physical issues I have unfortunately have not improved much.  Please refer to the list given on 10-25-11.   In addition I have had further gall bladder, dental and neurological troubles/problems/challenges - whatever I should call them.  Holidays are usually tough emotionally because I am not able to be with family.  I thank God that although I have been very much fighting this virus, I have not come down with it full blown like the kids did.   Please continue to pray for God's control in my heart and life, financial provision, job direction and opportunities for Gregg, my complete healing.  Thank YOU for your gift of prayer for me.

Ellen

Have you ever had the LORD mercifully "wake you up" to get you back on track?  I have been struggling with a particular sin and could not seem to get control.  Of course God wants our change and control to come out of our love and relationship with him, not our own feeble efforts.

Last night God helped me see some ways I have been deceiving myself.  I am resolved to be "back on track" today.  PLEASE pray for me as my flesh is weak and I know it will be a struggle.  I am paying consequences of the sin - God does not take that away, but praise Him, he has taken away the eternal consequences of my sin (Romans 6:23 The wages of sin is death) by punishing his son on my behalf.  We are undeserving and the bible says Christ died for us while we were yet sinners, his enemies! Selah - pause, and think on that for a while.

I purpose to dwell on that today, rather than on difficult circumstances.  Thank you for praying for me and our family.

Ellen

"I'd help if I knew what to do."

To date, three more down with the flu :( Keep praying. I have been fighting this virus. I am having some dental issues - pain. Fibromyalgia, arthritis, incision and hernia area pain up...high...
On to the "ways to help" post I promised.

First let me say please do not be insulted if I do not mention an idea you did for us. I probably just forgot. Also, I am not writing this to hint at expecting you to do anything... I am hoping this will be a post to help you think of ways to help others. I so often hear "I don't know what to do to help".
Even little things help a lot. Some are obvious - e-mail, snail mail (everyone I have asked says a handwritten note is more personal and they prefer them to computer notes), sending scripture verses, sending a taped message so they can hear your voice, flowers (don't forget pressed, planting outdoor bulbs, silk, potted and of course fresh wildflowers or florist type).

Food -
See sidebar for helpful links. Remember disposable dishes, paper plates etc. are super helpful.
Even after a crisis is over, a gift of groceries or fresh baked goods, a pre-cut vegetable tray, a fruit basket, crackers and cheese, a Thanksgiving turkey, etc. are a blessing. People seem to help the first week of a crisis but then back off. This is normal, but the family could still use help weeks or even months later.



Chores-
Things you can do to help in a practical way: scrub floors, clean bathrooms, do laundry, dishes, fix things, change the oil on their car, mow the lawn, shovel snow, change bed sheets, clean their refrigerator, help with garden (you know you have true friends when they are willing to come over and weed the garden :) ) or harvesting or animals - walk the dog etc. We even had friends take a few of our chickens and cook and can them and the broth for later!

Meals -
Aside from bringing a whole meal, you may want to later give a gift certificate to a grocery store or restaurant or to take the family out for a meal. Note: large families rarely get invited to someone's home for a meal and often cannot afford to take their whole family out to a restaurant, so it is a real treat when they do get invited somewhere.

Send a small gift-
Pay attention to what a person likes - look at their home, listen for them to mention a need. My in-laws are shining examples of doing this, bringing things to help others etc. Sometimes practical things mean the most in crisis or hardship. (new dishtowels, replacing a broken faucet, buying school supplies, clothes, stamps, slippers, etc.)

Transportation-
Offer to take them or their children somewhere - the park, a museum or event. Offer a ride to Dr. appointments, take the kids to piano lessons or run errands for the person.

Listen -
Offer a listening ear without always giving advice "It is better to give help than advice" It can be tiring to explain over and over again symptoms, reasons for decisions, what the doctors have said etc. Sometimes a person does want to talk about these things,  but she does not expect you to figure out the solution - she just needs a listening ear and some compassion. If the person home-schools, you can help by listening to their child read, drill flashcards, correct papers, play board games, take the children on a field trip, help them write a report, take the children out for P.E. (ice skating, biking, hiking etc)

Be creative -
I could give so many examples of neat things people have done for us. It is fun to come up with creative ways to bless someone and I am encouraged when I get ideas from watching others.
A friend brought me bubbles along with a sweet message and prayer. It was a beautiful, reuseable reminder of her friendship.
My sister brought supper to the hospital for Gregg and Eliya the night of surgery. She even brought a delicious bag of granola for their breakfast for the next morning.
An aloe vera plant for scar healing was an ingenious gift after surgery.
A chiropractic or massage gift certificate is helpful.
A music CD or special book or magazine is appreciated.
A get well banner created by my children awaited me when I got home from the hospital.
A tree or flowering bush or flowers planted in the yard is a nice reminder of someones care.
New sheets and towels are always a treat.
Gifts for other family members are an encouragement. The spouse and children in a family are stressed too and it helps for them to be remembered.

Prayer -
Remembering to pray for someone long term can be a challenge when we are so busy. Make notes to yourself, keep a prayer calendar, set up 3x5 cards with names and requests, put the persons photo on your refrigerator - do something to help you remember your commitment to pray. Remind the person that you are still praying for them. The person needs prayer and encouragement long after the critical period is over - especially when grieving or dealing with a chronic disease or illness or miscarriage. Remember later - it is rare but precious to receive help after everyone else seems to have forgotten.
Pray for their marriage. Crisis of any sort and chronic illness is a strain, and the enemy takes exhaustion, weakness etc. as an opportunity to pounce.

Money -
This is one area that a few people (some anonymous) have surprised us with. Gift cards, cash etc. to help with medical expenses, groceries etc. can help ease stress during a difficult time. Money is a gift especially appreciated by unemployed or underemployed peple these days. A spouse usually will have to miss work during a crisis, which often means days off with no pay. We are so thankful for the love others have shown us.

Notes:
Accepting help can be very difficult and humiliating for some of us. I have had to learn that God sometimes wants to use me to allow someone else to serve or to show his love to unbelievers. Remember not to judge someone if their house is a mess, the refrigerator hasn't been cleaned or organized, the laundry is piled up etc. It is humbling not to have done what is necessary and to accept help. Often we cannot repay people. I always pray that God will reward the people who help and love and care.

I know I have forgotten so many more ideas. Please feel free to share some in the comments if you think of more.

Ellen

Thoughts on Caring During a Crisis

What I will share here was prompted in part by watching some friends of ours who are suffering - it is not at all meant as a reprimand to anyone reading this. You prayed for us and helped us and were sensitive to our needs when I went through surgery, and we are still so grateful. Often times when people are in crisis, others will say "I would help if I knew what to do". . I thought I would share some general ideas of "how to help" others who have suffered a death in the family (remember miscarriage is a death too), accident, surgery or other hospitalization, divorce, chronic illness, disability, broken bones etc. Keep in mind that people differ and situations differ even from day to day. Try to be sensitive to their needs even if things don't make sense to you. This is about helping them, not about you fulfilling an obligation or giving them what you think they need on your time table. Never be insulted if someone refuses a visit or says no to your help on a certain day. Be flexible. Be forgiving.

It is best if you do not burden the hurting family with more to think about during a crisis e.g. decisions, timing, their ideas about what you want them to do etc. Remember they are tired and dealing with a lot. Just step in and do what you can without burdening them further. Usually this means no long visits - just drop off the meal etc. If they need to talk, listen, but otherwise do not expect them to recap all the details of things for you. Making appointments, scheduling tests, dealing with the financial fallout, changing schedules, missing work, communicating with family and friends, making difficult decisions, researching health and medication and treatment options, dealing with pain and fear, grieving, (a death opens up a whole other realm of needs) getting nutrition and handling day to day living is already more than they can handle. Their brains are full working on all these things. If children are involved, the parents have a lot of work to do taking care of their needs, explaining things, calming fears, etc.

There are times when phone calls are not helpful because time and energy are limited. Please do not expect people in crisis to return your calls. If you want to let them know you care by phoning, but they do not answer, just leave a sincere message with no need to return the call. An offer to help call other friends or family for them is often a good way to help. Sometimes they may desperately need someone to talk to. In that case, BE THERE. Try to put your needs on hold for a short time so you can listen to them, help make decisions, etc. Remember that your friend is vulnerable right now. Never share with anyone else something that was shared with you in confidence.

I hope these ideas are helpful. We continue to be blessed by your prayers and care. Since this is post ended up longer than I expected, I will try to post my ideas about specific ways to help in the next week or two.

Ellen

God's Ways Are Higher, Greater, Better...

Apparently there are still people benefitting from the information I am sharing here, so here is another post.

I am fighting a bacterial infection and have been on treatment for about a week so hopefully I will be feeling some relief soon. The rest of the "list" remains about the same with very high pain levels.

God is blessing us in many ways. We've been rearranging furniture a bit because someone blessed us with a diningroom table and chairs set. When we built this house we designed it to be able to be used for ministry/hospitality. With this new table we will be able to handle bigger families etc. Now I just need to get well enough to get past the chemical problems with people's colognes, laundry detergents, haircare products etc. A little energy and well being would help too:)

Our older girls are off tomorrow to help some friends from our church. Please pray for Mike and his family as they are struggling through some very serious health issues after an on the job accident that caused severe chemical burns internally and lung and liver damage.

I am so blessed that God has given our family many opportunities to learn through hardship. God has taught our children what it means to serve and they have gained valuable understanding and compassion through it all. God mercifully allows things into our lives that fit perfectly into his plan. He brings us to a place of seeing our need for him, and then changes and shapes us for his glory. His methods are often not what we would choose, but HIS WAYS are infinitely higher than ours. Aren't you glad he sees the whole picture? I am!

Ellen

Transparency

Being transparent is not one of my strengths so it is with some difficulty that I share the following excerpt from my prayer journal this week.

"Here I am LORD in all my pain, weakness (both physical and soul).  I am not "up" for what today holds.  I need YOUR strength, Your will, Your purpose, Your hope...every day but I feel it keenly today.  I do not want to work on my body, healing, cleansing, juicing, Dr. appointments, researching, supplementing, suffering...I am so burned out after so many years and so many different tries at so many different approaches, therapies etc.  Pain is so bad I almost can't make myself get out of bed in the morning until my bladder can scream no longer.  It hurts to move, I can't straighten up, moving my hips to walk is unbelievably painful..."
All this is not new since surgery mind  you, it's just I don't usually share "details" of how I'm doing. So here's just a glimpse of a small piece of my puzzle.

Prayer Requests: 

• Clearer brain - ability to concentrate and set my mind on things above - some aspects of this have been worse since surgery 
• God's priorities - that I will use energy for His will and seek it with my whole heart
• Gratitude - that I will thank God for the huge number of blessings I have and name them one by one
• Praise - reminding myself constantly of who He is, what He has done, how much he loves us,  how much I need Him etc. (it's all in the Bible:) 
• Control - that I would have the self control and desire to eat right, stick to the diet and not overeat - that I would get nutrients form food and be able to digest and eliminate well.
• Spinal/muscular - pain would decrease, strength would increase, bones would stay in place (especially ribs and spine) 
• Thyroid and adrenals would heal - hot, cold internal temperature fluctuations, much hair loss, weight gain continuing, hormonal imbalances, super on alert difficulty relaxing

Other - urethra nerves would heal
             arthritis pain would subside
             teeth, jaw and TMJ pain would decrease so chewing is not so painful
             itching would not be so incessant
             extreme vertigo (dizziness like I never knew the world could spin so fast type)

I am sure this is more than most of you wanted to hear.  (And I could actually add a lot more).  Sometimes I'm not sure what I should share. Generally I feel it is better to suffer in silence but then you would have little idea of how to pray.  Sharing with some people actually brings more pain and misunderstanding - maybe those people will have stopped reading this blog by now.  One thing I've better learned through years of struggle is the "not having walked a mile in their shoes" concept that helps me realize that we really have no idea what someone elses life is truly like.  Everyone has to deal with their own set of physical limitations, personality strengths and weaknesses, relationship issues, financial stress, grief etc.  Most of the time we don't know even half of what they are faced with.  Everyone handles the challenges differently. I pray they have a relationship the the LORD so they have a strong hold on the truth.  Some do not even have that yet.

Thanks for your prayers.  Thanks for taking time to listen and care.  I challenge you to pray for someone (in addition to me) that you know is hurting.  Let them know you care in some small way this week.  It can make a huge difference.

Ellen

Hello Everyone

This is a post for those asking how I am doing.  I am grateful to be alive.  I am extremely blessed by my family.  We have a roof over our heads and food on the table.  God is true, faithful and just.  He has given me eternal life not because I deserve it ( I do not) but because his son paid the highest price to free me from sin.  I rejoice that I can trust him!

Physically, well...PAIN is super high-back, hips, neck, shoulders,ribs.  Apparently my body is having great difficulty adjusting to the eleven+ pound off center mass being gone and the fascia difference etc.  My muscles are so extremely tight making chiropractic difficult because things will not move.  I am also not sleeping well again because of pain.  As God allows, I hope to make some massage appointments to try to help.  I have gained more weight:( and am still losing hair.  I have been overdoing (for me overdoing, not for a "normal" person) school, housework and organizing partly because it hurts so badly to lie down and to keep still.  The vertigo is extreme at times.  Concentration and focusing have been difficult.
After so many years of giving time, energy and money in trying to get well, I do get weary of being ill and in pain and having to constantly work on my body.  I tire of the severe dietary restrictions and having to "pay a price" when I deviate.

Thank you all for your prayers and for caring enough to keep checking this blog.  I am not sure how much longer I will keep it going. 

Ellen