Keeping You Up To Date

Hello Everyone.

Firstly an update on Josiah.  He saw the surgeon in July and things looked good.  Since that time however, Josiah began complaining of more hip pain and I noticed a much more pronounced limp.  One of his legs measures half inch shorter than the other. (We have been waiting to start chiropractic back up until we get a go ahead from the surgeon.)   I called Gillette to speak with a nurse about it.  After the nurse discussed my observations with the doctor, we were asked to please bring him in THAT DAY and not to let him eat or drink anything.  So he and Gregg made another trip to St. Paul.  Praise God Josiah did not need immediate surgery as they were suspecting.  The doctors will be watching his hip even more closely over the next months to see if the "bone might be growing off the screw".  The result if uncomplicated would be to remove the existing screw and replace it with a longer one or possibly two.  We pray no more surgery will be necessary.  Josiah's activities are now further limited by the doctor and that has been very difficult for him.   His bones and muscles are very weak as expected according to the doctor.  We were hoping to be able to begin some physical therapy, but now that will also have to wait.  He has been very moody (all those 15 year old hormone changes taking place when there is limited physical outlet makes things rough all around - for everyone).

Things for me have been trying.  PAIN, emotions, rib pain (doctor is convinced I tore cartilage in the ribcage two years ago- the pain is always there and still unbelievably, uncopeably high very often), nerves and whole nervous system overloaded and hypersensitive, impatience, right hip pain, stress, jaw pain, digestive issues, neck and shoulder pain,  yeast symptoms, back pain, thyroid issues (there is a whole symptom list that goes with that one!), anxiety, head aches, varicose vein pain, itching, vision trouble, heightened tinnitus, whole body muscle pain, weakness, brain fog, dizziness, lymph pain, weight gain, exhaustion . . .  trying to cope. . . not doing a very good job. . . cranky, annoyed, burned out, fed up, hard to focus, not a happy camper I'm afraid.  Hard to share or admit the junky stuff, but hopefully it will help you know how to pray for me.  I certainly need it, and I absolutely appreciate it. I have not been doing very well on dietary restrictions (too burned out after so many, many years that it is difficult to discipline myself to keep it up).  For those of you needing to know, yes I continue to work with a medical doctor and a chiropractor.  Thank you for caring and for your continued prayers.  I know it is hard to keep praying for someone after so much time.

God is good.  He never changes.  I believe his Word.  I trust him not because I am able or good, but because he is trustWORTHY!  Please pray for me in the area of spiritual battles along with the physical ones...they seem to go hand in hand don't they!

Oh, and as long as I am asking for prayer, please pray for my husband and his business.  I know many of you are familiar with the hardships that financial stress causes.  I must say that I have learned about how much more difficult and far reaching it is than I used to understand.  I guess we understand according to our depth of experience like with most suffering.  Anyway, Gregg is working extremely hard - to the detriment of his body.  I am concerned for his health.  

Well on that cheery note, I think you have had enough - HA.  There really are good things going on in our lives too.  It is hard to focus on them when your body is screaming for attention and not getting relief.  Only God can put it all into perspective but it is even hard to focus on him at times.  The length of being ill so long puts the hardship into a separate category requiring coping skills necessary above and beyond some others in my opinion. (Wow, what a sentence.  My serious headache is making thinking and typing difficult so I am going to leave it as is).  God knows all about it for which I am exceedingly grateful!

Hope you are having a good week.

Ellen 

By His Strength

Beyond asking "why?"
Daily it's "how?"
Pain has me in tears,
My heart full of fears.
I want to live life
And not just survive.

My spirit is struggling.
God holds me up.
Sometimes I can't hear him.

I know he cares.
I know he keeps his promises.
I know he can be trusted.
I know his ways are not my ways.
He is merciful, kind, longsuffering...
Make me more like you, dear Savior.


Someone asked recently if my absence from the blog world means I am not doing well - true.  I wrote the above several weeks ago.  It has been a very rough four months on many fronts.  I have had tons of severe abdominal etc. pain.  Thought I may have a strangulated intestine, gall stones etc.  To make a long story short, I ended up with more CT scans and bloodwork.  The intestine is not strangulated.  I probably have adhesions from the surgery causing some of the pain and I do have a large hernia causing trouble.  Several other things were checked.  I won't go into all the details.  I was on a broth only diet for over two months and am adding back in some foods trying to avoid the ones causing the pain to increase.  Pain will motivate you to take drastic measures at times. Not sure what the next steps are or what the timing will be.  It has not been fun - HA.  Lots of other "stuff" going on too.

Josiah is finally back on his feet - no more wheel chair or crutches - yeah.  He has some pain and his gait is still off.  We see the surgeon again in July for further x-rays and consultation.  He is supposed to stay on only even, level ground when walking.  Hard to do when you live in the country on a hill.  He cannot do any sports or active things, which is driving him (and us) crazy.  He must not fall.  There needs to be adequate oxygen to the socket area and not death of certain cell structure.  It will take about two more years for the growth plates to close.  He has to be extremely careful until then.

Gregg tore his hamstring and has been dealing with all that entails.  There has been continued financial stress.  He works and works and works and works...

Sorry this is mostly a negative update.  It is the third one I've tried to write.  Glad it is finally summer.  We had 12 inches of snow in May in one day.  It is good to see green again.



Ellen

Three Long Months

Josiah had his 12 week check up this week in St. Paul.  The surgeon says that the x-rays look good - no further slipping detected.  The next month Josiah is supposed to put increasing weight on his right leg until he is able to walk with the aid of crutches.  We need to make some decisions on what amount of risk to allow Josiah to take with his hips.  The Dr. said she would prefer Josiah just sit and stay still until the growth plates close (about 2 more years), but that of course she knows this is not reasonable.  It is imperative that he does not fall.  She said NO sports, games, running etc.  Walk only on level ground etc.  We live on a farm, on a hill, with animals...so this will indeed be challenging.  We are happy that he is finally going to be able to build up to walking again.  It has been a very long three months.  We are glad these wheelchair days are fading.  Please pray for his steadiness on his feet, good oxygen to the socket area, healing and strengthening of his femur (very brittle after no weight bearing for so long), even growth of both legs, and for him to SLOW down and be CAREFUL (not easy for a 15 year old male).  Thanks for checking this blog for updates.  We really do appreciate your care and prayers!

Ellen

Not More Than God Can Handle

And exerpt from the book Kisses from Katie by missionary Katie Davis

"Remember, God will never give you more than you can handle.  People repeat this frequently.  I heard it when I was growing up and I hear it now.  It is meant to be a source of encouragement, and it would be if I believed it were true.  But I don't.  
I believe that God totally, absolutely, intentionally gives us more than we can handle. Because this is when we surrender to Him, and he takes over, proving himself by doing the impossible in our lives."

I've been listening to the above named audio book while spending many hours in bed the past weeks.  I have time and time and time again taken one health step forward only to be sent six or more steps backward in this health quest of mine.  During the past fall and early winter, I had seen some progress in the right direction for the first time in a very long time.  Now, I have slipped back gigantically, and it is so difficult.  So many symptoms have heightened with a vengance.  I understand the "healing crisis" concept (I hope that is what this is), but in the midst of it, it does not seem like a good thing.

I feel that daily I deal with more than I can handle - even during the small improvement time - and now, this extra suffering seems crushing.  I so want to do things and go places and have energy.  I long to feel well and not have to work so hard at being cheerful.

So, rather than give you a list of symptoms, I thought I would give you a list of some prayer requests.  Please pray for:

*my heart to praise God as I remind myself of who he is
*my heart to thank God for the miriad blessings I have been given by Him
*me to be possitive and not negative in my speech
*God to perform the healing both my heart and body need
*me to have the will to continue doing the hard things to get well
*the long list of symptoms to be taken care of by God's healing power  e.g. the symptom that is literally screaming at me right now - incessant/ nerve wracking, loud tinnitus
*me to be the wife and mother my family needs while trying to rest and take care of my body (sometimes I have no choice - my body demands I do nothing but rest)
*God's priorities to be clear and for me to follow them and give up all else

I agree with Katie, He can handle it, I can't.  Blessed be the name of the LORD.

Ellen

Another Six Weeks At Least

Josiah had his follow-up appointment today.  The x-rays look "good" (although to this mom it didn't sound all that good).  He has to stay off his leg either on crutches or walker or wheelchair for at least six more weeks.  The surgeon said that it will be at least a year before he is back to somewhat normal activities.  There will be NO sports for at least two years.  He absolutely cannot fall for the next two years - doctor says if he falls,  the situation will be much worse even than the first time.  His muscles are weak and the femur is weak from non-use.  He can begin to put 15-20 pounds of weight on his right foot.  The condition, for those who want a label, is called by some Slipped Capital Femoral Epiphysis. There are some potential issues in the future, but we are praying for complete and excellent healing. 
One thing about going to a children's specialty hospital is that it puts life into perspective.  Josiah's troubles pale in comparison to so many children there! 
Thank you for your prayers.

Ellen                                         Kidding Season has Begun

 P.S.  I am feeling terrible still and struggling with my own health issues:(  Gregg and Rachel took Josiah to his appointment in St. Paul today.  I hated having to stay home and not be there with them.

Broken Down

I have not wanted to write about myself since Josiah's accident, but I am needing prayer.  I have a very horrible infection that I have been fighting and I am not winning.  It has me so nauseous, chilled, sick and in pain!  My legs are still very weak (since the day before the wedding) and I had a hip injury in October that has been causing a LOT of problems and pain.  I didn't really feel like I could write about it since my hip/leg socket problem pales in comparison to what Josiah has been through.  Pain has been keeping me awake of course.  I did better than I expected after the wedding (which does not mean I did well, but I am thankful for what I have been given), but my whole health picture took a major turn for the worst about 11 days ago.  So...I would really appreciate MORE prayer from you faithful warriors.

I will give an update on Josiah sometime after his appointment next week.

Ellen

15 Year Old Males do NOT Like Being Still:)

Josiah is doing pretty well.  He has had some swelling and circulation issues which we continue to work on.  He has an appointment with the surgeon in two weeks so we will hopefully know more then.  Thank you for your continued prayers.  He is having a tough time staying in a wheelchair or in bed. 

Many people have been so thoughtful.  Josiah has many special cards, postcards, books and games that people have sent.  This is one of my favorite cards made especially for Josiah by a sweet friend.  It makes me happy just to look at it. 

Ellen